Official All-Star Roasts

[erik]

Hello judges . We, the Heroes, decided to take a very creative approach to our roasting. We have taken popular US songs and altered them to fit each of the ridiculous and unfortunate Villains on the other side. Each roast comes with cover art, lyrics, and an actual recording of the song as well! Think of this like an iSurv1vor Villains Concept Album. So, enjoy the music!


BUD:


Song Title: Bud Romance


Cover Art:




Lyrics:

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah!
Roma-Roma-ma-ah!
He-roes-ooh-la-la!
Don’t want Bud romance

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah!
Roma-Roma-ma-ah!
He-roes-ooh-la-la!
Don’t want Bud romance

Don’t want your ugly
Don’t want your disease
Don’t want your creepyiness
Stay away from me please
He wants my blood
Blood blood blood
Don’t take my blooood.

Don’t want your herpes
The touch of your scales
Don’t want your ugly face that makes kirin wail
He wants my blood
Blood blood blood
Don’t take my blooood.

You know that I hate you
And you know I despise you
No thanks Bud, your Bud romance

Don’t want your chains
And I don’t want your collar
Definitely don’t want your Bud romance
We hate your being
All your soul is corrupt
And we don’t want your Bud romance

Bleh-eh-eh-eh-eeeh!
eh-eh-eeeh-eh-eh!
Caught in a Bud romance

Bleh-eh-eh-eh-eeeh!
eh-eh-eeeh-eh-eh!
Caught in a Bud romance

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah!
Roma-Roma-ma-ah!
He-roes-ooh-la-la!
Don’t want Bud romance

When I see you
It creeps up my spine
‘Cause you’re disgusting
And you smell of swine
He wants my blood
Blood blood blood
Don’t take my blooood.

Don’t want to hear you
You big fucking dick
Don’t want to see you
Wish you’d die cause you’re sick
He wants my blood
Blood blood blood
Don’t take my blooood.

You know that I hate you
And you know I despise you
Don’t want Bud, your Bud romance

Don’t want your chains
And we don’t want your collar
And we don’t want your Bud romance
We hate your being
All your soul is corrupt
And we don’t want your Bud romance

Bleh-eh-eh-eh-eeeh!
eh-eh-eeeh-eh-eh!
Caught in a Bud romance

Bleh-eh-eh-eh-eeeh!
eh-eh-eeeh-eh-eh!
Caught in a Bud romance

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah!
Roma-Roma-ma-ah!
He-roes-ooh-la-la!
Don’t want Bud romance

Ew Ew Ugly villain
Damnit
Is that Bud crazy?
Ew Ew Ugly villain
Dammit
I ain’t yo bitch baby

Don’t want your love
Do not want your ugly
Don’t want your love
Don’t even wanna be friends

Mooshnaa....caliente
Moishna hala kabah
Mooshnaa....caliente
Don’t even wanna be friends
I DON’T WANNA BE FRIENDS
Don’t want Bud Romance!
Don’t want Bud Romance!

Don’t want your chains
And I don’t want your collar
And we don’t want your Bud romance
We hate your being
All your soul is corrupt
And we don’t want your Bud romance

Bleh-eh-eh-eh-eeeh!
eh-eh-eeeh-eh-eh!
Caught in a Bud romance

Bleh-eh-eh-eh-eeeh!
eh-eh-eeeh-eh-eh!
Caught in a Bud romance

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah!
Roma-Roma-ma-ah!
He-roes-ooh-la-la!
Don’t want Bud romance


Recording (Ft. Erik):

nl.tinypic.com/r/5wmt51/5

[erik]

JUICE:

Song Title: I'm Too Juicy

Cover Art:



Lyrics:

I'm too juicy for my tribe too juicy for my tribe
tribe's going to leave me

I'm too juicy for my torch too juicy for my torch
So juicy it burns
And I'm too juicy for tasmania too juicy for tasmania
peru and ireland

And I'm too juicy for your idol
Too juicy for your idol
No way I'm disco dancing

I'm a queef you know what I mean
And I'll drip my dirty juice in the sand
Yeah in the sand in the sand yeah
I'll drip my dirty juice in the sand

I'm too juicy for my torch too juicy for my torch
Too juicy by far
And I'm too juicy for my fire
Too juicy for my fire what do you think about that

Cos' I'm a queef you know what I mean
And I'll drip my dirty juice in the sand
Yeah in the sand in the sand yeah
I'll drip my dirty juice in the sand

I'm too juicy for my too juicy for my too juicy for my

Cos' I'm a queef you know what I mean
And I'll drip my dirty juice in the sand
Yeah in the sand in the sand yeah
I'll drip my dirty juice in the sand

I'm too juicy for my queef too juicy for my queef
Poor pussy poor pussy juice
I'm too juicy for my tribe too juicy for my tribe
tribe's going to leave me

And I'm too juicy for this song


Recording (Ft. Ashley):

nl.tinypic.com/m/a1shlz/2

[erik]

HOOKER:

Song Title: The Villain's Hooker

Cover Art:




Lyrics:

All the men come in this game
And their dicks all the same
You don't look at their faces
And you don't ask their names
You don't think of them as a threat
You don't think of them at all
You keep your mind on the money
Keeping your eyes on the camera

I'm the villains hooker, a hooker for immunity
I'll suck what you want me to suck
I'm the villains hooker, a hooker for immunity
And any old penis will do

I want to make a million dollars
I wanna fullfill my fantasies
Have a stripper pole in my bedroom
Yeah, I wanna practice for my family
All the men come in this game
And their dicks are all the same
You don't look at their faces
And you don't ask their names

I'm the villains hooker, a hooker for immunity
I'll suck what you want me to suck
I'm the villains hooker, a hooker for immunity
And any old penis will do

I'm the villains hooker, a hooker for immunity
I'll suck what you want me to suck
I'm the villains hooker, a hooker for immunity
And any old penis will do

Oral sex or Anal sex
a lot of lube will do nicely, thank you
Let me loosen up your buff
Tell me, do you wanna see me do the shimmy again?

I'm the villains hooker, a hooker for immunity
I'll suck what you want me to suck
I'm the villains hooker, a hooker for immunity
And any old penis will do

I'm the villains hooker, a hooker for immunity
I'll suck what you want me to suck
I'm the villains hooker, a hooker for immunity
And any old penis will do

I'm the villains hooker, a hooker for immunity
I'll suck what you want me to suck
I'm the villains hooker, a hooker for immunity
And any old penis will do


Recording (Ft. Ashley):

nl.tinypic.com/m/a1sim9/2

[erik]

RB:

Song Title: Bored Boring

Cover Art:



Lyrics:

RB wanna be a big star
Get on iSurv1vor, win and all that
Make a little fame, buy a fancy bride
Big old house and some curly fries
Just to eat with the special sauce
He's a popular man so he's no longer singing with Juice,
He's making songs about villainous things
And big onion rings and things that go PLING!
But, villains don't bling in the dark
He a star now, but he ain't in his real life
Sooner or later he's just gonna fade away
Cause his fans won’t last until next season and more
He ain't doing what he did from the start
And that's being invisible and a little less of a brat
He decided to get out of the shadows
RB is boring regardless…

[Chorus]
‘cause he’s bo, bo-boring
Bored, everyone’s bored, give a damn
Bored be the birds now they don't want to sing
Bored, people, why did he get cast? Bored!

He sees himself in the mirror
And he feels safe 'cause it looks familiar
But he’s afraid to open up his mouth
Cause he doesn't really know, doesn't really know
What if, there’s a personality deep within?
Cause he’s content with just being the alliance wing man
And he fails to see that at Tribal
Insignificant, he’s evicted unanimous
I've seen his kind before
He’s the type that thinks fame is won in a game
Hidden up with idol-like sticks
With them survival meals
To him that's righteous
He’s lame as books
He needs to go out to life and look
'Cause what happens when he is not in the game?
And you already bored us a lot cause you are...

[Chorus]
Bo, bo-boring
Bored, everyone’s bored, give a damn
Bored be the birds now they don't want to sing
Bored, people, why did he get cast? Bored!

Sandy said that time is money and money is time
So RB got mind in this money and this money on his mind
But what about that thing that he did to get cast
And what about that bet, Corey said he wouldn’t last
What about those shows they'll watch today
RB’s no good on survivor he’ll be burned along the way

All that money that he got gon' be gone
That gear that he rocks gon' be gone
The house up on the hill gon' be gone
The gold fronts on your grill gon' be gone
The ice on your wrist gon' be gone
That nice little Miss gon' be gone
That whip that you roll gon' be gone
And what's worst is your soul already gone

[Chorus]
‘cause he’s bo, bo-boring
Bored, everyone’s bored, give a damn
Bored be the birds now they don't want to sing
Bored, people, why did he get cast? Bored!


Recording (Ft. Tom):

nl.tinypic.com/r/wkqonn/5

[erik]

TUCKER:

Song Title: British Boy

Cover Art:



Lyrics:

Dis is da numba one Tasmanian sound
Yeah, Tucker is 'bout to get down
He da poshiest in the game right now.
Just came out from Stockton-on-tees.
Bet he’ll give you a pound.
Better put that idol in his hand right now.
Tell the other villains to move aside,
He just became a villain from the heroes tribe!

[Tucker]
[Chorus:]
Put me on iSurv1vor, I'd like to play some day.
Take me to Tasmania, I'd love to see Corey.
I really want to, plot and scheme with you.
I’ll be your British Boy.

I said, Hey Sandy.
It's really really nice to meet ya.
You just met this 5 foot 7 guy who's just your type.
Like the way I speak mate? My confidence is peaking.
Don't like my English jeans but you will like what's underneath them.
And yeah I will make you LOL
You heard that it’s a diff time zone but I’ll be wide awake.
You say you want some drama?
I'll show you entertainment.
You’ll like this British Boy. This British Boy.

[Chorus:]
Put me on iSurv1vor, I'd like to play some day.
Take me to Tasmania, I'd love to see Corey.
I really want to, plot and scheme with you.
I’ll be your British Boy. This British Boy.

(Lalalalala-eeah! Lalalalala-eeah! Lalalalala-eeah!
Will I be your British Boy? Your British Boy.

Can we get a vote this weekend?
Take me to Tribal.
Let's go plotting maybe then turn around and play.
Let's vote for the fast way.
Take out the Hooker.
I'd never been to Exile and I'd like to see what's there.
Dress in those purple buffs.
Sandy's making a Roast challenge I'm lovin' the Heroes.
Bashin' that boy.
Hear this slick talk.
You likin' this British Boy. This British Boy.

[Chorus:]
Put me on iSurv1vor, I'd like to play some day.
Take me to Tasmania, I'd love to see Corey.
I really want to, plot and scheme with you.
I’ll be your British Boy.

Let them hear a rap Bud.

[Bud’s Rap:]
Who killin' em in the UK?
Everybody gonna say TU-CKER, reluctantly,
Because most of the world don't fuck with him.
Tucker once said to me, cool down mate
Don't bark just bite mate mate.
He always acts a fool oww oww.
Ain't nothing new now now.
He crazy, I know what ya thinkin'.
Sandy n’ Corey I know that his sinkin’.
Ex-hero. New Villain.
Jump to the next tribe soon as you're blinkin.
What's his persona?
Out here in Tasmania
Donna, am I shallow cause all I want is Tucker?
Dressed smart like a London Bloke. [Yes]
Before he speak his suit bespoke. [Woop]
And you thought he was cute before.
Look at this idol, tell me he bluffed. [Wooo!]
And I know I wanna tap that.
I heard his lyrics I feel his spirit.
But he still talk that POOOOSH.
‘cause a lot wacks wanna hear it.
And he’s feelin' like Rob and not Tucker.
By the way, call me Gladys.
And I know he’ll love it.
So to hell ‘cause I’m just rubbish.

[Tucker:]
Would you be my ally, my ally.
Could be mine
Would you be my ally, my ally,
Could you be mine
Could you be my ally, my ally.
Would you align with this British Boy? This British Boy

Put me on iSurv1vor, I'd like to play some day.
Take me to Tasmania, I'd love to see Corey.
I really want to, plot and scheme with you.
I’ll be your British Boy. Your British Boy!

[Chorus:]
Put me on iSurv1vor, I'd like to play some day.
Take me to Tasmania, I'd love to see Corey.
I really want to, plot and scheme with you.
I’ll be your British Boy. Your British Boy!

La da da, da da, de da
La da da, da da, de da
British boy.


Recording (Ft. Jeffrey):

www.upload-mp3.com/files/187356_ppjbn/british%20boy.mp3

[erik]

JORDAN:

Song Title: Whore State of Mind

Cover Art:



Lyrics:
yeah
Yeah Jordan’s out in Brooklyn
causin shit like always
killin time by kicking
children in their faces
He’s the new Sanatra
except he only sings for spare change
and he pisses anywhere
(Yeah he pisses everywhere)
Arrested by a cop in Harlem
for public exposure
now he’s a sex offender
don’t know his gender
took it up the butt once
for cash now his ass is tender
Catch him in the kitchen doing crack and eating pastries
Cruising down 8th street
looking for a quick fuck
Driving so slow
just looking to make a buck
Jordan’s out of his mind
gonna rob a bank now
His face up on billboards
Police lookin to book ‘em
yeah he’s a regular criminal
But he’s still sipping Mai Tais
cause dey can’t catch him
Looking for his next high
Villains, I be freaked out
they should just be killed now
...tell by Jordan’s attitude that he’s MOST DEFINITELY FROM...


New York!!!!
Sellin sex to pay for meth addiction
There's no fattie he wont do,
Jordan’s in New York!!!
Banging bitches with Eddie from Peru,
bangin Eddie sometimes too,
What Jordan does in New York, New York, New York


Catch Jordan drunk as shit and ODing at a Yankee game,
Barfing in the stands on some poor kid in a Yankee hat
you should know he bleeds red, when he sticks a needle in,
and he got a gang of crackheads with his clique though,
welcome to the melting pot,
corners where he’s selling rocks,
Jordan don’t put up with shit
Burns down homes of haters
workin at his job for FM radio
Playin songs no one likes just to get a fat check,
showin up to work drunk and sometimes he’s naked
it’s a real pity that he even makes it
wish he’d stay home cause he smells like shit
If he died, I don’t think anyone would care
3 more hits of ex
3 more bottles of becks
Labor Day parade, and he popped the Elmer Fudd float
Statue of Liberty, had sex in her crown yeah
long live Jordan yo,
He’s from the whore State thats…


New York!!!!
Sellin sex to pay for meth addiction
There's no fattie he wont do,
Jordan’s in New York!!!
Banging bitches with Eddie from Peru,
banging Eddie sometimes too,
What Jordan does in New York, New York, New York



Recording (Ft. Erik):

nl.tinypic.com/r/r94myh/5

[erik]

STEPHEN:

Song Title: Raindrops Fallin' On Stephen's Head

Cover Art:



Lyrics:

Raindrops keep fallin' on Stephen
And he’s the weather guy who’s got nothing in his head
Nothin' seems to fit
THOSE. snowflakes are fallin' on Stephen, they keep fallin'

So he just did some talkin' to the sun
And he doesn’t understand the sun cannot talk back
Can’t even get a job
THOSE. hailstones are fallin' on his head, they keep fallin'

And there’s nothing. He knows
The tornado God sent to meet him wont defeat him
It won't be long till they can’t bring him back from the dead

Lightning keeps striking on Stephen
But that only means his skin will soon be burnin' red
Cryin's not for him
'CAUSE. He’s never gonna get the weather by complainin'
He just needs some sleep
Nothin’s worrying Steve

It won't be long till they can’t bring him back from the dead

Meteors keep fallin' on Stephen
But that just gave him permanent brain damage
Cryin's not for him
'CAUSE. he’s now a vegetable for the rest of his life
At least he’s free
No more weatherman Steve


Recording (Ft. Erik):

nl.tinypic.com/r/auhxc7/5

[Erin]

Awesome job yall!