iSurv1vor Reject: Episode 2

[andrew]

So yeah, I better break down my storyline before it becomes a 120 page novel. So in the future, every chapter gets its own topic....

(ONCE AGAIN I NOTE: DON'T TAKE THESE STORIES TOO PERSONAL!!! NOT PICKING ON ANYONE, JUST PROVIDING ENTERTAINMENT!!!)

Episode 2A: All Girl Alliance, a Power Struggle, and Titty Pictures

*Crappy Country Music Theme Music*

TUSCALOOSA (RED)

Payne
Noah
Piper
Syafiq
Skylar
KJ
Kirin
Robbie
Darcy


MONTGOMERY (Green)

Kumi
Ektor
Ginny
Richard
Caydie
Heather
Matthew
Mike
Caitlin


BIRMINGHAM (Blue)

Vartevar
CJ
Alyssa
Lorii
Kyle R.
Courtney
Kyle F.
Artist
Donna


MOBILE (Yellow)

Tim
Andii
Earl
Christina
Taylor
Zoe
Sandy
Alexander
Brittany

****

The four tribes each went to their own camps. Each camp was located in a heavily forrested area and only had a few supplies, a machete, a pot, a large well of water, some flint, some baked beans, and a broken down trailer park home to provide some shelter.

First to arrive to their camp was Montgomery. The tribe got along very well. Richard was quickly desinated the leader of the tribe and he helped lead the tribe to build a solid shelter using the trailer park home as a base. On the inside, however, Rich was worried about being declared a leader so quickly. He already was considered one of the biggest threats in the game and this wasn't going to help him out in that regard. However, he also knew that the tribe could use a leader to keep them united. So he vowed to do his best for the tribe and keep them from worrying about voting people off.

However, even at this stage, the beginnings of an alliance was brewing. Heather realized that the game of iSurv1vor often had dirty players making alliances to stay alive. Thus she wanted to beat the bad people to the punch and make an all good person alliance. She already decided that Caydie was a good christian woman, (she didn't know that Caydie was actually an atheist who hated Heather) and also found Caitlin, Richard, Matthew, and Kumi to be very nice as well and went to get all of them into her clique. And so, already in Montgomery, an alliance of Heather, Caydie, Richard, Matthew, Caitlin, and Kumi was born.

****

Over at Mobile, the tribe didn't do very much at all, instead just goofing off and hanging around. Already there was fighting in this tribe, as Christina and Zoe were fighting over who was a better lap dancer. Zoe actually wasn't even a exotic dancer, but she had so many identity crisies, that she no longer remember who she originally was anyway. Christina was consider the ultimate sex toy in iSurv1vor lore and wasn't too happy to find out she had competition.

Taylor and Earl of course decided the best way to solve the problem was to have a lap dance competiton with them as judges! This earned a laugh from everyone. Earl then said that in addition, they should give him "titty pictures" to help him decide. This earned him stares. "Maybe later..." he decided.

Tim was annoying people with his talks about how amazing he was, saving children from fires and rescuing nuns from terrorists. Everyone knew the truth, he still lived at home with his mother and didn't get out of the house ever.

Alex was becoming frustrated with his tribe of misfits. As he said in his confessional, "Our tribe has a sexual predator (Earl), an invisible lady (Sandy), a retard (Tim), two whores (Christina and Zoe), and a homicidal freak (Taylor). Yeah, this tribe sucks"

****

At Tuscaloosa, KJ quickly established herself as a potential leader to the tribe, giving out excellent camp advice and keeping them humored with kinky lesbian stories from her youth. Inside, she knew how important it was to keep the younger players entertained with her. She had to make a connection with them in order to do well. She felt confident about her chances.

Skylar was doing absolutely no work at all, but rather joking with everyone and putting down the other tribes, (esspecially Mobile). He didn't want to waste his time with work, that was lame. Besides, as he said to the camera, "Why would they get rid of me? I'm their best competitor by far! They'd have to be retards to cut me off! Course, I'm also going to win this game and I'll let them all know it, just like last time!"

However, Skylar had a major enemy to worry about. Payne was already making a big alliance, with Kirin, Robbie, Noah, KJ, and Darcy. He didn't include Skylar because he was a threat, Syafiq because he was weird, and Piper because, "It's Pippy" he told the others. Though he acted nice to everyone, he secretly made fun of everyone, esspecially Piper, who he loathed.

Piper was nervous about her tribe position. She had been trying to get people to allign with her, but no one was talking much. Payne had probably beaten her to the punch yet again. Damn him, she thought to herself, why do people keep falling for his fake ass innocent kid act? She had at least made a friend in Skylar though, and hoped that working with him could keep her safe for a while.

Noah was getting pissed off with Robbie. The stupid kid kept following him around, saying how hot he was and that they could get together. Fuck you Sobbie, I know I'm hot! He wanted to tell Robbie this, but he knew he could use a puppy dog that would do whatever he wanted him to do. That's why, when Payne invited him for an alliance, he made sure Robbie got into it too. But if Robbie was gonna get stalking him when he was peeing, he might just have to take him out early!

****

And finally, at Birmingham, the mood was odd. Nobody seemed to want to do much involving teamwork. Everyone was already playing the game. CJ, Alyssa, and Courtney decided to work together and form an all girls alliance. Courtney in particular found this idea important because, "the guys are just fucked up. Vartevar's a douchebag, Bobby Jon Kyle is stupid, the other Kyle has no spine, and Artist is totally on drugs or something". Besides, she reasoned, we have the numbers on the boys anyway, why not use them?

Vartevar was also staying busy. He knew that in order to survive, you need to take control of the game! Playing under the radar was for wimps! He wanted total control and to rule with an iron fist! So he quickly rounded Donna, Kyle R., and Lorii together for a "Final Four" alliance, Vartevar knowing damn well that would never happen, not with 36 people left still. But he found confident in his plan, no way would he be going home anytime soon....

Artist was sad. He didn't care much for his tribe, everyone was totally into the game and not into the experience. Plus, he had a secret. He was still in love with Piper, even after Hawaii had ended over 2 years ago. She had never talked to him before, but he still thought she was perfect for him. He wasn't on her tribe though, and worse, that scheming bastard Payne was there, probably making her miserable. Well, he wouldn't stand for it! He hated when girls got abused by guys anyway, and if he ever got a chance to keep her safe, he would do it! He just hoped she would survive long enough for him to rescue her......

[andrew]

Episode 2B: Balance Beams of Death and Doom

The tribes arrived to the challenge area, where Klein was smiling evilly. "C'mon in, castaways! I hope you've enjoyed your stay so far! Because it's about to get really fun.......for me"

Everyone looked around. There was a maze of beams all over the field with different colored flags sticking out every which way.

"Your challenge today is simple. You'll race out on the balance beam course and collect tribal flags! Each tribemate must collect 1 flag. First TWO tribes to collect all 9 of their flags win immunity! Other two tribes will see me at tribal council!

But before we begin, I must warn you to stay on the balance beams! You see, I like to call this challenge, the Balance Beams of Death and Doom! The reason is simple, take a look below the beams..."

Everyone looked down. There was a TON of plants in the ground. They were big, think, and had thousands of spiky needles in them......

"There's cacti down there!" KJ exclaimed.

"What a minute! There aren't any cacti in Alabama!" Kirin said

"And what are those big brown things on th.....OH MY GOD!!! Those are tarantulas!!!" screamed Darcy.

Indeed they were. Hundreds of the freaky large spiders were resting on the cacti plants.

"Haha, yes, yes indeed. The cacti were brought here just for the challenge Kirin. And yes Darcy, those are tarantulas. The biggest and meanest ones we could find! If you find down at any time, your going to be hurting for a while. So let's get started, shall we?" Klein loved this challenge. He knew a lot of these people from the past. Many of them had made fun of him on multiple occasions. This time he'd have his revenge.....he'd make them suffer for the right to stay alive.

****

"GO!"

The challenge was on. The castways had to go one person per tribe at a time, so the pressure was always on that person. Not only did they have to worry about staying on the balance beam, they had to be fast, and they esspecially had to not fall down!

Within 10 minutes of the challenge, the scores were as followed...

Tuscaloosa 8/9 flags with Kirin to go
Mobile 6/9 flags with Tim, Sandy, and Brittany to go
Montgomery 6/9 flags with Caydie, Heather, and Ginny to go
Birmingham 5/9 flags with Donna, Kyle F., Lorii, and Artist to go

So far, nobody had fallen yet, which bored Klein greatly. He decided to put pressure on people to get them to fall,

"Tuscaloosa is DOMINATING the challenge so far! Mobile and Montgomery going okay, but it's a horse race! Birmingham is falling behind! You guys need to hurry up if you want to stay safe!!"

Artist was going for Birmingham when Klein said that and started to hurry up, trying to both impress his tribe, but of course Piper too. This resulted in him falling quickly into the pit. He screeched as pricky cactus needles stabbed into him. When a particularly large and ugly orange tarantula pounced on him, Artist's voice went to an octave that only dogs could actually hear. By the time Artist finally got back onto the board and finished with his part of the challenge, Brittany, Heather, and Caydie had all finished. Right after Artist finished his leg, Kirin practically ran her way to the end, winning immunity for Tuscaloosa!

"Tuscaloosa has won immunity! Montgomery has Ginny to go! Mobile has Tim and Sandy! Birmingham, you might as well start getting ready to see me!"

Ginny was moving very slowly. She hated cacti and spiders so much! Tim, not the most athletic guy himself, was easily out-pacing her and before Ginny even got to her flag, Tim had finished.

"It's down to Ginny for Montgomery and Sandy for Mobile! Whoever finishes first wins the 2nd place immunity!"

Sandy was trying to move as fast as she could, but wasn't going much faster than Ginny! Though her tribe pleaded, she just couldn't get herself to move faster. In the end, Ginny won immunity for Montgomery due to Sandy's sluggish pace.

"Tuscaloosa and Montgomery have won immunity! Birmingham and Mobile, I'll see you guys at tribal council!"

[andrew]

Episode 2C: The Rush For Votes

BIRMINGHAM

Nobody was in a good mood after finishing in last place at the challenge. Immeditately, everyone began to branch off into 2's and 3's to throw the blame around. Some blamed Artist for being the only person to fall into the cacti pit. Others blamed Vartevar, who had severally struggled when he had gone, putting Birmingham so far behind that they never caught up.

Courtney, Alyssa, and CJ met up and decided that Vartevar must go. Alyssa reasoned that not only was he not that good at the challenges, but he was a bossy asshole too, so there! They also decided that as the pretty girls, that needed to stick together at all costs! To get extra votes, they approached Lorii, who of course agreed to it. As for the 5th vote, they decided on Kyle F. Bobby Jon Kyle was very naive and probably could get roped in easily. And so they approached him.

Meanwhile, Lorii betrayed the girls and told Vartevar what they said. Dammit, thought V, who the fuck do those bitches think they are? They're messing with the wrong bastard!

And so, with a few minutes left before Tribal Council, he approached the girls in front of everyone....

"So, I hear your gunning for me" he started

"Yeah, sorry, your too fat to be of any use" CJ replied

"FUCK YOU! At least I don't pretend to be a girl when I'm actually a guy!!! Your a fake, phony bitch!!!!"

"Fake?! Your the most phoniest person in the whole tribe! You ALWAYS try to control everyone by acting nice, then freak out when people think for themselves!!"

And so it went, in front of everyone. Vartevar calling CJ, Courtney, and Alyssa all whore bitches, the girls responding that he was a controlling fat ass.

After the fighting ended, Artists was pissed at Vartevar. What a dickhole, he thought to himself. Men should NEVER yell at women like that. He thought of Piper and knew HE'D never treat her like garbage.

Kyle F. was worried. He was seeing the tribe splitting itself into two. Vartevar, Donna, Lorii, and Kyle R. vs. CJ, Alyssa, Courtney, and Artist also leaning with them. He was in the middle. He had promised the girls that he'd vote with them, but he also knew didn't like that he heard CJ could actually be a man. A woman should be pure at heart, he thought to himself, not hiding behind fake illusions. He actually believed V in that CJ was a guy. She DID have manish hands..... What to do? What to do? He thought. When in this position, he did what he always did, he thought of the famous letters, W.W.B.J.D. What would Bobby Jon do?

*****

MOBILE

At Mobile, everyone quietly came to the agreement that Sandy should go home. She had cost the tribe immunity when it could have easily been won. Besides, if they didn't rid of her now, they'd forget about her and she'd slide under the radar, just like she did in Bermuda. Once that decision was decided, everyone branched out and tried to enjoy the rest of the day.

In the trailer park home, Brittany, Alexander, and Andii were talking. They decided that since they were all friends from the past, they might as well make an alliance.

They were not the only ones making alliances. Christina, Taylor, and Earl decided to ally. Sandy would go first, they agreed. But Christina made it very clear that Zoe would go next, since she was an opposing lap dancer. She did NOT want female competition. Taylor agreed, making sure to remind her that she was beautiful and amazing. Earl agreed too, making sure to remind her that he wanted her titty pictures. This earned him a slap in the face and Christina marching off away from him. Taylor shrugged and walked away. He kinda wanted Christina's titty pictures too, but he wasn't stupid enough to say that.

Sandy and Tim were hanging out, trying to enjoy one last sunset before Sandy's impending doom. They were friends, (or rather, Sandy tolerated Tim's unjustified arrogance) and Tim promised Sandy he wouldnt' vote her out, even if he was the only one to do so.

*****

As Zoe and Andii were hanging out, bathing themselves, Christina marched to them. "EARL IS SUCH A PERVERT!" she practically screamed. She told them about the titty pictures he wanted from her and the girls agreed that he needed to go soon. "I want him out now!". "But can we get the votes? Everyone is set on Sandy...". So they debated for nearly an hour before making up their minds.....

*****

Soon, both Birmingham and Mobile began their last marches to tribal council. Soon, 2 of them would go home and the number of iSurv1vors left would be down to 34.....

[andrew]

Episode 2D: Tribal Council

BIRMINGHAM

Because they finished in last place, Birmingham would attend tribal council first. They entered an open area, expecting a breathtaking scene. What they got was 9 folding chairs in a grassland plot of land with no view other than two drunken hillbillies humping on top of their car.

"Welcome to Tribal Coun..."

"What the fuck is this shit?!" Vartevar interrupted, "this place is totally empty! Is this iSurv1vor or some little pow-wow?"

"Umm, well our budget's is a bit small for this show, so we had to cut some costs. Heck, look at my snuffer...."

Klein lifted up a rusty tin can tied to a tree branch. The cast sighed miserably to themselves. This place sucked. At least it wasn't raining on them.......check that, it was now sprinkling.

"Okay guys, let's get started." And so Klein asked them some basic questions, how was camp life? has anyone taken charge to be a leader? what did they think of the challenge? c'mon guys, you know there are some hotties on the other tribes, who would you hook up with?

Then he asked Kyle F. "So Kyle, what are you basing your vote on tonight?"

"Well ummm, I don't really know Klein. I mean, it's pretty much down to two people. One of them is abusive to people, but is a good leader and could get things done. The other one is stronger at challenges and is even cute, but isn't even a girl.....and I like my girls to be pure," (all the girls, including Donna rolled their eyes at that one) ".....so I really don't know what to do. I guess what my idol Bobby Jon would do.... W.W.B.J.D." Everyone stared at him. Did he actually just say that?

"Okay, it's time to vote!"

Vartevar went first and wrote down CJ's name, saying, "So who are you really? Some 50 year old guy that had a sex change?"

When it was Courtney's turn to vote, she wrote down Vartevar's name, "If my girl CJ goes, I will bring a vengance that's never been seen before!"

After everyone voted, Klein retrieved them and began the count.

VARTEVAR









CJ







CJ









CJ







CJ












VARTEVAR












VARTEVAR















VARTEVAR



















































1st person voted out of iSurv1vor Rejects is.....


























CJ




CJ got up sadly, hugged her girls, flipped off Vartevar and Kyle F. and got her cheaply made torch (a tree branch with a candle attached) snuffed by the even more cheaply made snuffer.

"Well, that was a divided vote! You guys will have to get it together if you want to survive long!" Klein said as he sent them out on their way.

CJ's final words were "I can't believe Kyle voted me out! He must not like girls I guess. He's missing out."

*****

MOBILE

The tribe walked to tribal council, as disappointed as Birmingham was at the lameness of the place. As usual, Klein asked his questions. Near the end, he asked Sandy, "Why should you stay in the game?"

"This tribes needs to be strong as a collective team that enjoys each other and can hang out with each other without getting uncomfortable. I qualify because unlike a certain person, I actually have respect for women and don't just walk around asking for "titty pictures"."

"What's wrong with that?" Earl responded.

"Well it's rude and degrading to women! The girls all think your a pervert, Earl!"

"I can't help it! I'm a sex addict!"

"Bullshit," said Christina, "you actually have had to meet a girl to to have sex!"

"Do blow up dolls count?"

"EWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!"


"Okay," Klein interrupted, "I think we should just get to the vote. So ummm, Brittany, you first"



Sandy and Earl each voted out each other. Christina walked up to the booth and said this much, "Earl Potter, you're pathetic. The only way you're ever getting laid is if you stick that magical broom up your ass!"


"Okay, I'll count the votes"












SANDY




































EARL


































EARL

































































EARL




































































EARL





















and the second person voted out of the game is....



EARL


Earl was stunned at the result. Why me? I just wanted titty pictures........




"Okay, well guys, the vote was unanimous, so obviously you guys might just be united after all! See you tomorrow!"


"Well I'm voted out, without my beloved blow up doll. Guess I'll just have to improvise with my broomstick......."